To Love But Not To Hold

Don’t you think it is funny, so few words can mean so much to some people. There are a lot of people, and most of them I knew personally, can proudly say that to me, however my question is; how many of us out there can proudly DO what the title stated? Sadly among my contacts of friends, I can name only one person who is able to do just that.

I have some friends who drool over their past relationship on the things they have done; regretting of doing something and regretting of not doing other things. Nonetheless, I am one of them. Many relationships that I have known of were ended by misunderstandings and impulsive decisions in an argument. No matter how much they love each other, things have to come to an end. And after that, they begin to regret their behaviors and decisions made in the relationship. To a certain extend, some of them could not forget their ex even though they are with someone else. I do not blame this people for that particular feeling because feelings cannot be explained by mere words. On the other hand, is it fair for your current partner that you still have feelings for the ex?

There are some people who hold on to these feelings, so tightly of which indirectly makes it an attachment; an attachment that eventual leads to undue stress and pressures in one life. It is very confusing matter no matter how much one may try to forget it. This is because, it all boils down to the attachment on these past feelings; feelings that should have ended long time ago.

Some might disagree with me in ending feelings, but by ending old feelings only new feelings can come into one life. Put it in another way, when we are free from attachments, we will appreciate what we have right now. As a Chinese proverb goes, ‘Able to lift it, Able to let go’. A friend of mine once said, “How can someone discard feelings when they still hold on to those memories of being together?”

It is difficult for many of us, including myself, to forget those ‘silly little things’ our ex did that made us laugh, frown and tear. Bare in mind, these ‘silly little things’ are just memories and should not be dealt with feelings. When we discard these old feelings, then we are able to gain new feelings on those who we are with now. There are some who I personally know were unable to discard these old feelings, so much so they begin to evaluate their current partners to their ex. And a majority of them are discontented with their current relationship because it did not live up to their expectations, comparing to their past relationships.

Do not take my words for it, judge it by yourself. These feelings are indeed confusing, I myself took sometime to realize, that these feelings need to go or else the new would never come. Forlornly, it is not easy to discard feelings, especially something intimate.

Ask yourself, why do you still harbor these feelings? Is it right or wrong to hold these feelings despite being with someone else? Is it fair to your current partner for not giving them a chance to show and develop new feelings with them? Doesn’t your current partner should feel appreciated for doing their own ‘silly little things’?

“It’s true you don't know what you got until it’s gone, it’s also true you don't know what you've been missing until it arrives.”

I may be right, and I too, may be wrong, but, “WHATEVER HAPPENS, HAPPENS FOR A REASON”

Bottom line, appreciate what you have; the past is gone, the future is yet to come, the present is the most important as that is what we have now.


~~~Dedicated to special someone~~~